Said his wife was hot

When I was sixteen my first job was at a Cinemark movie theatre. I was pretty new there, and they had me working as a runner for concessions, meaning I would only fill up sodas and popcorn. I heard someone around me say "Oh my god! Chuck Norris is here!" and being the awesome teenager that I was I immediately quipped "Chuck Norris? I heard his wife is hot!" Right when I say that I turn around to set down a bag of popcorn, and who is standing right in front of me? Chuck. Fucking. Norris. He had this giant shit eating grin on his face. This was before any of his internet stardom, and he was still in the middle of filming episodes of Walker Texas Ranger. I know he heard me say that stuff about his wife, and for a second I thought about the fact that he had studied under Bruce Lee, and had held many martial arts titles in his day (I was sort of obsessed with Bruce Lee at that time), and how he could have easily struck me from across that counter, or pulled me over it, or jumped over it and kicked my ass with an assortment of candies that were beneath me. He doesn't say a goddamn word to me though, just looks me dead in the eye. And winks. Chuck Norris winked at me because I said his wife was hot. He grabbed his popcorn and his drink, and walked away while I stood there dumbfounded and probably ghost white. Since that happened I have not aged a day, which is an eternal curse, because now I'm stuck in the body of a shit headed sixteen year old.
Rating: NICE
- StinkgAsFeyd
18 February 2012, 04:02am (CST)
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